Yeah, we suck. We’re aware of this. Not ability-wise of course (although come to think about it…) but because our ability to handle recruitment has been pretty piss-poor. We’ve had plenty of applications for suckers people interested in joining our ranks and we’ve simply been unable to take it a step further and try any of these guys out. Since there’s half-a-dozen people probably wondering what they’ve done wrong, I’ve compiled a list of all our excuses for you to mull over.

• PhantoM, the clan leader, has had a string of issues which has made him pretty shit at actually staying at home and sitting in front of a working computer. We’re still in contact with him, and he may be back online and itching to go by the end of the week, but with his current track record it’s too hard to call!
• Real-life got in the way for one or two people too. Nothing out of the ordinary, but due to our current small numbers it looks pretty bad because 2 busy people (as well as PhantoM chasing his shadow) means we look like we’re not here. In truth, some of us are, and if we recruited we’d have a fully-functioning working clan. We just can’t (because we fucking suck without PhantoM doing all the work)
• I’ve tried (Ryan) to speak to some of you, and I’ve introduced myself to one or two of you, but I can’t recruit you. It isn’t because I would get a smacked bottom, but I don’t like new people in general. I’m one of those guys that are lumped with someone, and then we’ll become buddies. I suck at closing deals

We are serious with LaB, really. It’s frustrating for us too. We’ve spent money on a match server which is sitting idle at the minute, and a good amount of effort has gone into creating a nice site and a forum – I’ve spent some time actually coding little tidbits for all of this. We wrote a nice flashy recruitment post which got a good reception based on the number of people interested and for now it’s all come to a grinding halt. We fucking suck

So! What’s being done about it!?

I don’t blame any of you if you’re trialling elsewhere or have already found a team that you’re happy with. Hell, if our roles were reversed I would have done a runner already. So, those that have moved on – no hard feelings. There might be some of you who are still interested (I don’t know why!) and if you are, just bump your recruitment thread and let us know. We haven’t rejected any applications yet (bar one) so consider your application as pending. We’ll start figuring out who is still interested by the end of this week.

tl;dr version

We’re Project Mayhem, you’re all our disciples, and you’re all sat on our porch because you’re too short, too fat or you have some other infliction.

Ryan (wpyz)